You Are 79% Thankful

You are a very thankful person - for both the big and little things in life. Your optimism is powerful. Getting through hard times is fairly easy for you.

I feel that this is true. People may scoff and I can understand why because I can be quite negative and pessimistic at times but I am more and more realizing how lucky I am and that I am really and truly blessed in my life. I have the BEST friends ever, so totally blessed in this area!! I have a great job, it doesn't pay well but I work with great people and my clients give me hope and make me laugh and smile every day. I have some interesting family members, some I could take or leave, but there are some great ones in there. I have an awesome house and money in the bank for food and shelter. My husband and I both have secure jobs. We have good health and insurance. LIfe is pretty darn good.

Don't forget to tell the people that you love, that you love them every day.

Don't forget to tell people that you are sorry and make sure that they know you meant it.

Don't forget that regrets are much harder to live with than letting something go and letting bygones be bygones.

Don't forget that love is more important than anything, and that means all kinds of love.

Lastly, don't forget that the person that you care about could be gone in a blink of an eye and you should cherish every minute you have together.

I thought of these things because as I was sitting in the car, the Tim McGraw song "live like you were dying" came on and I thought of Joel. I think of how stupid we both were to wait over three years to give our apologies and catch up on each other's lives. I think in particular how stupid I was, how hung up on fear of rejection I was, to reach out and just write a simple email that said "I am sorry and I wish you the best." I only got a little less than three months back. True, it is better than nothing, but I wish I had done it earlier. I have so many regrets, so many conversations with him in my head that I wish I could have had. I wished I had asked before I did to go see him. I wish I had been allowed to go. I wish that he had taken me up on my offer to meet up for lunch before he went into the hospital. I wish that Jeremy had gotten to meet him and he would know how special Joel was. I wish that I didn't feel so guilty every time I enjoyed something. On the other hand, I am glad that I feel guilty because I think I would be less of a person if I didn't for a while. I am still just so angry that so much was taken from those loved JOel, and that so much was taken from Joel. It is so hard...

So please, don't be stubborn or scared or blase about stuff...right the wrongs and don't give up on people. Don't stop caring about people, the regrets swirl around your head and eat you up on the inside.